This third stage of healing of the shadow is characterized by negotiating or buying your way out of the situation.

You trade off taking a "good look" at what's beneath the "shadow" and becoming completely aware of the truth, so that healing may occur, for a temporary high or feeling of safety. 

Addictions of all kinds including retail therapy, food binging, alcohol and drugs are a few favorite ways of bargaining and distracting yourself from facing the truth.

We’ll see and accept "this" much, but no more. We can only allow ourselves to become aware of so much of the truth.

The third stage of healing the shadow is characterized by tremendous suppression of guilt and shame.

You may suddenly feel anxious or fearful for no apparent reason.

At this stage of healing the shadow you are still identified with "the shadow" as being part of who you are. You believe these "rejected" shadow parts of the mind are unacceptable and unlovable parts of your Self.

It feels tremendously painful to own up to these hidden and dark potentials of the mind. The things the mind is capable of doing - given the ‘right’ conditions - is just too painful and alarming to bare.

Of course, as long as you maintain ignorance of the shadow potential of the mind you will project these dark hidden parts onto "others" to act out in the world. 

These "virtual" dark potentials of the mind when believed in will manifest (and have for millennia) as experience in the world.

For there to be experience, which we all love as human beings, everything "good and bad" must be on the menu.

There is no experience of "goodness" if there is no contrasting "badness." It’s the opposite side of the same coin.

The truth is if you will "look" at the shadow, shine your light of awareness on it, it will disappear because there is nothing there. It's all in the imagination.

The meaning of imagination is "a projected idea, or image or concept of external objects that are not actually present to the senses."

Imaginations are false pictures appearing in the mind as if they are real.

However, an imagination "believed in" will manifest and become your experience. 

Next time you feel guilt or shame take a moment to look at any feelings that are triggered to see if what's beneath is "real" or only "imagined."

Affirmation: “I trust myself to make wise and healthy choices.” 

Best essential oils I recommend for Bargaining - the Third stage of Healing the Shadow are the ancient oils:

Myrrh - Traditionally used to enhance spiritual and emotional well-being. Helpful for relieving congested conditions. Use to dispel negative, resistant and stagnant mental and emotional states.

Frankincense - Natural pain reliever, use for spiritual and emotional support, helps build stamina.

Rosemary - Ancient first aid oil of purification and healing, powerful restorative. Helpful for clearing negative, suppressed memories.

Cypress - Used since ancient times for ritual cleansing and purification, relieves congested conditions, strengthens the heart energies.

Read First Blog in this Series - Healing the Shadow Essential Oils to Use.